Okay, jumping right in, here we go.

Today is May 27, 2024

I have had a crisis of faith. Go figure. I am way behind the curve but there you go. Wherever you go, there you are. So, I don’t know why I haven’t looked closely before, but last week I came across ‘predestination’. Are you kidding me? How did I miss this?

God, we need to talk. I bought the whole package, I believe that Jesus is God Himself. I believe that He died for all of mankind, and for me too. I gratefully accept Jesus’ sacrifice and put myself in His hands. I accept Him fully as my Lord and Savior. I thank Him daily for who He is and what He has done. I have felt His presence in my life and I try every day to put Him first in my life. We talk, well I talk a lot more than you do but sometimes I remember to listen and your words always resonate as truth. So, tell me about predestination. Does that really mean that no matter how hard I pray for my family that they may not be saved. You have a list? You know I’m not into exclusivity. I reject clubs that are exclusive. I don’t want to be part of anything that doesn’t include everyone. I get that not everyone goes to heaven, but that’s their choice, right? We do have a choice, right? So where did this come from, only some are saved?

I’ve read the passages in the Bible, which I firmly believe is the Word of God. I see what I missed before. You are sovereign. I accept that. But did I really? You are beyond my comprehension. I thought I had a handle on that too but I guess I don’t because I don’t understand. On the other hand, I accept Jesus as my Lord, my King, completely, without question. Well, I do still have questions. As my King He makes decisions I don’t understand, I cannot understand. They are behond my comprehension, my logic, my understanding. My pride insists I can understand if I have enough information but that’s not the truth. This is one of those things.

I struggled all week with predestination. I have questions, God. What about deathbed confessions? Oh, okay, so I won’t know if they are saved, that’s up to you too. Well, what about my family? Okay, I cannot save them, only you can God and again, the final say is up to you. Is that so different from predestination? Well, honestly, maybe not. I have to accept it, all or nothing. I choose all. I talked, you listened. I complained, you didn’t argue. I fussed, you let me. Then the final word came, ‘I Am.’ Okay, I get it. Till next time, God. Thanks for listening.

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